Times of our Life #1 - Never Alone

Times of Our Life #1 - Never Alone

Welcome to "Times of our Life." This publication seeks to share possibly undiscovered gems of wisdom from individuals who have lived long and fulfilling lives. These blogs will share brief anecdotes from people who, now in their later years, are eager to share what they've learned through their transformative personal and work experiences. Below is our first edition.

You Can't Go Back

By Bob Birdsell

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is often paraphrased as saying, "No man ever steps in the same river twice," which conveys the idea of the impossibility of returning to the past.

My friend Patty lived in a close-knit community in Alabama with her husband (now deceased) and had many enjoyable memories living there. After her husband's passing, she moved north to Wisconsin to be closer to family. Some years after her husband's death, Patty returned to her treasured Alabama community.

She had hoped she would find the area as she remembered it, but unfortunately, it was not to be. Upon returning to Alabama, she found that many of her old friends had either died, moved on, or were no longer capable of carrying on a normal conversation. Perhaps the most disturbing reality was that, as a single person, she found it hard to make new social connections.

I asked Patty what she feared most at this point in her life, how she viewed the future, and if she had any regrets.

She began sharing her insights by handing me a picture of a soldier sitting in a desolate and barren place, obviously thousands of miles from home. The caption read, "Never Alone."  She said, "I don't want to be alone, so I choose not to be."

She said, "I have few fears and no regrets primarily because I choose never to be alone." People say to Patty, "You live by yourself! You outlived your husband, and your children are not close by. You must feel lonely!"  Patty's response was, "Loneliness is an interesting emotion. Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?" Patty's point was that you can be alone, whether surrounded by a crowd or by yourself. Her point was that being alone is a choice, and being alone isn't necessarily lonely. And as Cicero suggested hundreds of years ago, "At this stage in life, maybe a little peace and solitude is well deserved and desired."

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